as it turns out, i am still alive

i hope you had a chance to say goodbye to my couchsurf virginity because, ladies and gentlemen, it has left the building. i am still breathing, still eating and drinking. just been running around all day without access to my belongings (the beauty of couchsurfing!) so am catching up on all things life and internet right now. you will all get the juicy details you deserve soon enough but right now i am about to eat a meal of pork and stale bread soup (??? it actually smells really good) that sergio is cooking and then we are heading out on the town. people don't go out here until like 1 or 2, he says. crazy! and apparently john malkovich owns a club here which is kind of a big deal so, yeah, we may go.

so that's the skinny, though there will be more to come when i get a chance--pictures, stories, etc. but please consider that the time during which i was able to throw thorough travelogs with photographic evidence on the net may very well be behind me. the photos may have to come supplementally at another juncture. we'll see how the days progress. all in all, first 30 hours in lisbon are enough to win me over. i have a place in my heart for madrid, but nothing beats the coast; it's a welcome change to have a breeze. went to the beach today. THE BEACH. i am struggling to communicate in portuguese because, although in written form it seems similar to spanish, the pronunciation sounds almost russian to me. my ears/mouth/brain aren't really getting along too well. i am asked a question in the native tongue and i'm sure my face gives off the impression of my having been lobotomized because i just don't get it. i have a few more days to work on it before i'm catapulted into bar-theh-loh-na, where my spanish may not help me too much either. sending good love out to all you faithful readers. thank you for habitually consuming these sheez-its. soon enough, four out of five dentists will recommend them for cavity prevention and general well-being.

o b r i g a d o

the longest short lowdown. or the shortest long update

heyo, friends and foes.

first off, let me set some expectations. there will be no photos in this here bloggy. i gave up plenty of the goods last time, and right now i just don't have it in me. plus, it's not like i have some posh paparazzo equipment with which to capture magical moments so they're really quite boring, no? but regardless, if there are photos worth sharing, they'll surface one of these days--rest assured. have trust in the inner-workings of a gossip rag wannabe puppet master.

secondly, it's 2:00 am and i am--by some miracle of science, or god--a bit tired. it's taken me a good week plus, but i am finally starting to experience weariness. and i think that's a good thing. point is, i plan to keep this short (though i think i always say that and it never happens so you should be used to my lies by now) and give a quick and dirty lowdown on my situation before i let the whirring of the fan serenade me with its sweet, swiveling song.

a few days ago i took a trip to toledo. i do not like toledo. it has history and beautiful ancient architecture, but all i could really see was the money going in and out. as if a little spanish cartoon character (we shall name him pedrito) has euro signs flashing in his eyes. someone took a bucket of paint, the color of which is "tourist", and threw it everywhere. it's like disneyland. or, sadly, venice, italy. the curving cobblestone streets that seem to merge and loop with no rhyme or reason have some endearing qualities, but they are overshadowed by the commercialization of every step i'd take. after four hours or so, i was ready to head back, but i ran into a girl i had seen seen that morning buying a train ticket in madrid and she mentioned that most of the trains back to town were sold out until 9:30 at night. at this point it is about 4:30, scorching hot, and i have dinner plans. i panicked, thinking of what lengths i would go to to get on the 5:30 train. bribery? pull out the fake crying (i have tweezers with me--don't make me use em)? flash the ticket agent? too bad for you, the potentially exotic story ends there because they still had seats available and i was golden. when i got off the metro back in madrid, i could not have been happier. unholy toledo! so glad to be back home.

i'm still in madrid but leaving in the morning for lisbon, portugal. neil & chrissy took off for a weekend trip today so i am here holding down the fort til i leave tomorrow. i spent the day giving myself a minor anxiety attack trying to sort out the transportation and lodging super last minute but, hey, that's how i roll so i should get used to it one of these days. i was in a funk and not in the mood to live my last night solo, so i called up an adorable french-turned-spanish girl that neil and i met out last night at a swank hotel gathering (as she had just emailed me with her digits) and asked if she had dinner plans. nope, libre. so we met up at this fantastically spanish plaza in the city and walked the roving streets covered with tapas bars and guys furiously passing out flyers trying to recruit us to do many things that i didn't understand. just as well. it was great to hang with her again and she made me speak spanish all night, partially because she speaks english at work all day and needs the practice as well, though she has lived here for three years and could totally slay me in battle. a nice night out would've ended more smoothly if the entire metro wasn't under construction at midnight, but alas, i am home now, and feel like i've closed out madrid nicely, though i will return in october to give it another go, when the city has been resuscitated and perhaps takes a slight chill pill, weatherly speaking.

but my anxiety was not for nothing, perhaps, as i have taken a cue from today's madness and started locking things in, gradually. commitment makes me so uneasy (i'm pretty sure i devoted a whole blog to this not so long ago) and thus i have been living by the seat of my pleated shorts (don't worry, despite the classification, they're actually pretty attractive), but before i lose what's left of my mind i feel i need to rid myself of a bit of the chaos and just buy the goddamn flight already. so here's what's in store, loosely: lisbon--porto--barcelona--san sebastian, then i meet up with five--count em--five crazy boys/men (no, not boyz II men, but wouldn't that make for an interesting excursion; they probably wear pleated shorts too. woot woot!) to take on a little southern france action, some more barcelona (end of summer fire festival), and possibly one more mystery destination. after that, i meet up with another set of gents, these ones from my past--my adolescent years, to tackle marrakesh and the south of spain.

so here's the thing: tomorrow is when my adventure really begins. i have thoroughly enjoyed my time at neil & chrissy's and, frankly, become too comfortable. i take the metro alone at midnight (mom, hush), i know all the locals on the block, i can (kind of) understand the menus. it's been a delicious and warm tenure here but i must venture into the wild without the crutches of five star hotel towels and fine wines. au revoir, chateau monnens. time to holla @ lisbon.
couchsurfing, here i come. no joke. sergio (you know him almost as well as i do) is meeting me at the metro at 19:00 tomorrow so, if you never hear from me again, please know that i loved most of you very much and i still don't like pie or U2.

oh pshhh. no direspect to serge. i'll be fine. from emails he sounds enthusiastic and welcoming and all about cycling! and there is a huge couchsurf event in lisbon tomorrow night with live music (including people bringing their own instruments--i have no talent to offer but i like this idea), food and drink, all night long. sergio and i will be making an appearance, and so will the rest of the lisbon couchsurf community. plus, there is a korean journalist coming to stay with us on saturday. (in light of recent events, not entirely shocking to learn a journalist wants to flee korea, but that's for another blog, another time [that i probably won't ever write since politics may very well be where i draw the line on getting dirty with words].)

and with that i say, adios, madrid. peace out, my peoples. let's hit it, lisbon.

if paella were a blog, it would look something like this

¡hola, mi gente! admittedly, my format here is ever-changing. today i bring to you fewer words (or so i thought until i looked at the whole thing and it's probably longer than ever--such is my curse), more photos, a little mish-mashed chronologically but, all in all, relatively legit. i am trying to maintain some communication consistency but, you know, things happen, yada yada yada, and i slack on the posting. bottom line is, i will bring you what i can, when i can. i hope it brings you joy. or pain. as long as i am making a difference in the world. your world.

what follows is a wrap-up of some events of the past few days.

when we left off it was saturday evening and i was headed to el corte ingles (department store/super amazing supermercado). it was starting to cool down, and by cool down i mean it went from 98F to about 89F. but hey, i'll take what i can get.

i walked down a major street that leads me there from neil & chrissy's and it is basically a mellowed out rodeo drive. every bourgie store you can imagine lines the road so it's a pretty glamorous walk--me in my vans and $5 sunglasses passing by the suited-up señoras covered in chanel and class. i get into the store and first check out the ladies' fashion but nothing is cool enough to warrant spending my precious funds or schlepping it on my back for two more months. over it! get me to the food, already.

i go downstairs to the expansive market and i am loving it right away. there are entire sections (consisting of several aisles) dedicated to things as specific as olive oil or chorizo. i decide to pretend i am rachel ray (but less annoying, i hope? please.) and go on a mission to find the most bang for my euro (FYI the exchange rate right now is around 1E = $1.40) first up, a package of fresh green figs for 2E, which is a score compared to how i've seen them priced elsewhere. then i head to the canned fish section (which is massive, obviously) and hunt down a small can of sardines to do homage to my mom who told me she survived on canned sardines and fresh tomatoes when she was here years ago. less than one E. then the meats. ohhh, the meats. i showed you the impressive meatcase the other day (and i know someone is tempted to throw a "that's what (s)he said" in here but i don't think it really works). that stuff can be pricey though. i learned from chrissy & neil that their favorite type of jamon (iberico) is especially expensive because the pigs are fed nothing but acorns. sounds lovely, but i'm looking for a cheaper option and, since my palate is not developed to the point of specific gastronomic preferences, i am down with poor man's ham.

i find what i will refer to as the "dollar bin"--a refrigerated case with nothing but cheap meats and treats. sliced chorizo for 1E, jamon curado for 1E, and then--BINGO--the motherlode. (side note: in confirming my spelling of "motherlode" i came to discover that "the term probably came from a literal translation of the spanish veta madre, a term common in old mexican mining." well, whattayaknow? thanks, wikipedia.) i had been craving cheese as i had not eaten it since arriving here and, apparently, need it for my survival. what i stumbled upon was a mixed nuts package, if you will. mostly non-spanish cheeses but i do not discriminate. as long as it's not americano i am happy as a berberecho (cockle aka salt-water mollusk). manchego to fill the spanish quota (and to make wonger happy, as it it his ultimate favorite), swiss, brie, bleu, and some mysterious orange cheese with a rind that i cannot identify but am pleased with. all of this was 5E. my mind: blown. one more item before my bounty is complete--bread. i walk over to the bakery where this young man stands behind the counter, ready to serve. i ask him all sorts of questions because a) he seems bored so i am doing him a favor and b) i have no idea what the bread names mean. i finally settle on a small baguette and he tells me there are fresh ones coming out of the oven right now. he hooks it up! half a euro and hot hot hot! i take my schwag to the checkout. my total comes to 10E and some change and i am feeling GOOD. and hungry. i get outside, find a bench outside louis vuitton or one of those such places, and have a little snack. my happiness overrides the fact that madrid's upper crust is watching me eat bread like a vagrant. the rest i take back to the house as a small offering for my hosts who, undoubtedly, have been craving cheese too (as any human should, i say). here are the goods (after being picked at, obviously):

that evening, neil took me to the aforementioned and much-hyped "pirates of the caribbean" restaurant. i didn't quite know what he meant by that until we got there. decor was on point--quite the thrown-together, lost-at-sea motif. the place is a pulperia or something to that effect, pulpo being octopus. yes, this is an establishment that puts all their eggs in an eight-tentacled basket. (no, not literally. jeez.) i cant be bothered to know what it's actually called but let me please share a few crucial details of the experience, via photographic evidence. bottom left: pulpo (odd); bottom right: roasted chilies (tasty).

and now, bottom left: an empty bowl; bottom right: a flaming bowl of alcohol and fruit being scooped by a woman with a ladle and a deathwish.

neil and i were sitting adjacent to the table on which they "perform" this ritual (whilst the sounds of a spanish witch are played through the speakers) and considering all the many ways this could go wrong. neil's favorite: a loon could grab the bowl and throw it on the seated patrons and we'd all be covered in third-degree burns. let me tell you this: it is almost worth a visit for the insanity of the whole spectacle, but not so sure if it's worth the pulpo. too bad i don't know the name so you can't go anyway.

on sunday, as i mentioned, madrid is a ghost town, even more so than the other days during august. i suppose some people are out worshipping their lord, but i took advantage of this excuse to be completely lazy, which i rarely do. but before i could become a sloth i had one voyage to take. i started off the morning rather early (after another night of quasinsomnia) with chrissy and we took the metro to the rastro which is an open air flea market of cheapo new goods and antiques alike that covers several curvy cobbly streets. we walked around and scoped out the wares, but didnt buy anything. here are a few examples of the antiques up for grabs and the surroundings:

then, in trend-spotting news, thanks to chrissy (aka vanna white in the photo below), i got a couple photo ops of what we are still seeking the ideal name for. i am thinking "poopy pants", "diaper jumper", or "saggy booty overalls". not a fan. take a look and feel free to make suggestions:

additional trending news: white is white hot. women are loca for white pants and dresses. i wonder if the prevalence of such has a positive impact on the the sales of detergent and bleach (and tampons? too far?)
a few snapshots to prove i have what it takes to be a paparazzo (if it ever comes to that):

also spotted: men with mullets and rat-tails. or a combo, which is pretty much business in the front, party in the back all night long until the break of dawn. i have not yet been able to snap a pic of this but i am working on it. patience, child.

once we returned from the rastro, we spent the rest of the day lounging since the whole city is laying low. we made a great lunch (duh, right?) of whole trouts cooked in rock salt, roasted asparagus & eggplant, papaya, and a fun little cocktail we created with vodka, fresh OJ, gaseosa, and grand marnier. oh, i also prepared some of my figs and bleu cheese with walnuts and honey for a little appeteaser. do this--it will make you happy.

take a peek at neil preparing the fish:

to pass the day, i watched the remainder of the first (and only) season of "party down", with which i am completely obsessed and distraught there is no more to watch. it aired on the starz network but i believe it is available on netflix ("watch instantly" option) for any of you interested. word on the street is that some of the "freaks and geeks" people are behind this show. it is genius. i love.

yesterday i spent much of the day walking through a new area of the neighborhood shopping for food and a few clothing items. some discoveries along the way:

supermarkets have an entire flan section:

proof of the absurdly cheap wine prices:

a leather jacket for 59E!? yes, real:

some scenery i like:

and lastly i'll leave you with some stained glass behind a bar that neil recognized as bearing a striking resemblance to larry david. agreed?

thanks for checking in, my friends. there is always more coming your way. if you can deal. ciao.