cracked lips? make 'em cracker-ier

yeah, it's true. i haven't written in some days. i have been here, there, everywhere, trying to find some normalcy amidst the chaos. i will return to you good people again soon with some pseudo-profundities about the pursuit of enlightenment, my apathetic avoidance of learning to knit, and why eating red meat is so tasty tasty. (the latter is my half-hearted attempt to test the allegiance of my vege/pescatarian following who, despite their best judgment, still listen to my rambles even though i take every opportunity to preach the goodness of the animal flesh & bone.)

but i come to you today with a very small little treat, a discovery that sounds both mind-blowingly delicious and stomach-flippingly gross: cheez-it lip balm.

could this cracker-flavored cosmetic be the answer to our prayers? could this be the prevention we need for excessive lip locking, or would it encourage more promiscuity among the cheezingly inclined demographic? if we melted one of these bad boys down and slathered it on ahmadinejad's kabob, would he suddenly think with the mind of a sane, cheez-loving pacifist, pass the crown to moussavi, and come march in the gay pride parade?

if only world peace were so simple. but in the meantime, maybe you want a piece of this to get you through the day. with this tube of lip lather, suddenly your plain tube pasta becomes mac 'n' cheez. it's going for $4 on ebay (OBO) so, lactards, this is your chance to get that flavor you've been craving in the worst whey.