hello, and welcome to funemployment

you can turn off your 7:30 alarm--you won't be needing that where you're going.

stock the pantry with ramen noodles and peanut butter. keep the hard alcohol out of easy
reach so that you at least have to work for it a little. assess the netflix queue--this may be the time when you actually catch up on those pesky recommendations from acquaintances.
you know, like "high school musical" or "transporter 3".

but what do i know? i am only a freshman on a team that has many seasoned players. the
varsity quarterback is listening to me now thinking, "oh, silly naive girl. you know nothing of the game. watch and learn." but i don't think i'm all that blind to the flexibility here. it is what i make it. for all intents and purposes, i am my own boss. and today i'm giving myself the day off.

at the risk of concoting the biggest cliche ever, i feel as though someone has given me an empty plate at a multicultural buffet and now i have to decide what to spoon onto my dish. i have issues mixing radically different foods in one meal--pad thai, calzone, shawarma, all intermingling, meshing and mucking flavors. meh. but i may need to get used to that notion as i now have room for all kinds of things that i need to consider making room for, like dayparts on a tv schedule. so far today i am keeping it pretty simple with a hefty serving of relief and excitement, a side of contemplation, and an iced coffee. when the day is done i will wash the plate and put it back on the shelf until i go at it again tomorrow. there's no telling how sustainable this lifestyle is or when the first curve ball (food poisoning?) will hit, but there is a certain comfort in not knowing any of that. today is the first day of this new way of dining. the first few hours are sitting well with me, and that's all i can be bothered to care about right now.

as my quarterlife crisis (?) and reassessment commences, i should note a couple other observations that may or may not be a sign of things to come:

i found another grey hair. i need to stop pulling them out. at the end of the day, silver fox > mr clean.

my new dermatological neck scars have the appearance of love bites. this is eliciting suspicious inquiries from curious friends/foes. i may need to craft a new explanation that is more exotic than routine cryotherapy.

how is emancipation going to affect my general temperament? will i mellow out? or will freedom fuel my calculating mind and propel me into a life in which i stack unthinkable adventures, one atop another?

as i celebrate bastille day, as well as the independence of the sheez from the shackles of employment, i shall venture out into the absurdly uncharacteristic 90 degree weather and let my brain wheels spin with reckless creativity. and work on evening out my tan.

god bless you all; your fate, your consciousness, your appetite for change, your hangover, your dysfunction, your attempt at baking, your lack of organization, your carnivorousness, your sinning ways, your propensity to jaywalk, your genuine craziness.